Navel-Gazing
Thanksgiving is on Thursday (how unusual) and I was feeling reflective as a result. So since blogs are vanity publishing I thought I'd turn away from the politics of this blog (in which my interest has temporarily ebbed as I scramble hither and yon in preparation for the holidays and end-of-year at work) and focus instead on what I have to be thankful for.
A little background. Growing up, I was utterly and completely convinced that I was going to die at 22. Part of this stems from the fact that my mother died when she was 22 (I was 3 and half, barely older than my elder daughter) and that she reportedly knew that she was going to die very young and in a fire, both of which happened. At any rate, I presume that was a contributing factor in my paranoia, but there are others, I'm sure, but I don't want to get into speculation on that. This put quite a damper on any future plans I made, since, after all, I wouldn't really be around to enjoy them. I met the woman who is now my wife when I was 16 (she was 17) and we were in high school. We dated for nearly two years and even after breaking up, were still quite close. We did eventually get married (otherwise she wouldn't be my wife, eh?) two days after I turned 22. She knew of my paranoia, but decided she would rather have one year as my wife than never be married to me at all.
At 22 I married the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I swore my love for her that day could never be eclipsed, and then it was, time after time, day after day. I am thankful for Carrie, for her deigning to share her life with me.
At 23, I first became a father to Audrey Koren. She has brought more joy and purpose to my life than any self-help book. Watching her learn and grow has been an experience unlike any other. She has given me a new pair of eyes to view the world. Everything she learns, I learn anew. I love her and I am thankful that she is ours.
At 24, I was hired by the company I was under contract to and began my first non-contract work in over a year. Permanent employment was a blessing I had hoped for, but could not ask for (under the terms of my contract). It provided the stability and confidence I needed to be the father and husband I needed to be. I am thankful to be employed in such a vibrant economy.
At 25, I became a father again, to Madelyn Rose. She is now a year old and much to my surprise, everything I learned with Audrey, I have again learned through Madelyn's very different perspective. She has been a wonder and sheer pleasure. She is as different in disposition from Audrey as she is alike her in appearance. She is far more exploratory and brave than Audrey was, taking more risks and getting into more than her big sister did, which only complicates her mother and father's lives since they now have a 3 year old and a more curious one year old with contend with at the same time. I mean that in the very best way. I am thankful for Madelyn, for her spirit and her curiosity.
I have watched the two of them lay the groundwork for the tight bond they will share later. I have observed that there are few more iron-clad but confounding relationships than sisterhood. They fight, argue, love, play and learn together. I am thankful for their love in each other.
At 26, my big event hasn't happened yet (I don't think - geez, I hope it wasn't the election, there's still 9 months to go), but fatherhood has taught me patience, and the year is still young, so I am ready.
These last four years are years I never expected to have. They have been the best years of my life and there aren't any indications of it letting up. I am thankful for the gifts I have, the people who surrounded, the family who loves me, the country I live in, the brave men and women who fight and die that me and mine can live as we wish, for the opportunities I am daily given, even if I don't always take advantage of them. I am the luckiest man in the world and I defy you to prove otherwise.
This Thanksgiving, take the time to be thankful for all of your gifts and blessings. If, unlike me, you are religious, then pay special thanks to your deity for allowing you to live here and now.
Happy Thanksgiving and may your next year be a Catastrophic Success (with the emphasis on the Success).
A little background. Growing up, I was utterly and completely convinced that I was going to die at 22. Part of this stems from the fact that my mother died when she was 22 (I was 3 and half, barely older than my elder daughter) and that she reportedly knew that she was going to die very young and in a fire, both of which happened. At any rate, I presume that was a contributing factor in my paranoia, but there are others, I'm sure, but I don't want to get into speculation on that. This put quite a damper on any future plans I made, since, after all, I wouldn't really be around to enjoy them. I met the woman who is now my wife when I was 16 (she was 17) and we were in high school. We dated for nearly two years and even after breaking up, were still quite close. We did eventually get married (otherwise she wouldn't be my wife, eh?) two days after I turned 22. She knew of my paranoia, but decided she would rather have one year as my wife than never be married to me at all.
At 22 I married the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I swore my love for her that day could never be eclipsed, and then it was, time after time, day after day. I am thankful for Carrie, for her deigning to share her life with me.
At 23, I first became a father to Audrey Koren. She has brought more joy and purpose to my life than any self-help book. Watching her learn and grow has been an experience unlike any other. She has given me a new pair of eyes to view the world. Everything she learns, I learn anew. I love her and I am thankful that she is ours.
At 24, I was hired by the company I was under contract to and began my first non-contract work in over a year. Permanent employment was a blessing I had hoped for, but could not ask for (under the terms of my contract). It provided the stability and confidence I needed to be the father and husband I needed to be. I am thankful to be employed in such a vibrant economy.
At 25, I became a father again, to Madelyn Rose. She is now a year old and much to my surprise, everything I learned with Audrey, I have again learned through Madelyn's very different perspective. She has been a wonder and sheer pleasure. She is as different in disposition from Audrey as she is alike her in appearance. She is far more exploratory and brave than Audrey was, taking more risks and getting into more than her big sister did, which only complicates her mother and father's lives since they now have a 3 year old and a more curious one year old with contend with at the same time. I mean that in the very best way. I am thankful for Madelyn, for her spirit and her curiosity.
I have watched the two of them lay the groundwork for the tight bond they will share later. I have observed that there are few more iron-clad but confounding relationships than sisterhood. They fight, argue, love, play and learn together. I am thankful for their love in each other.
At 26, my big event hasn't happened yet (I don't think - geez, I hope it wasn't the election, there's still 9 months to go), but fatherhood has taught me patience, and the year is still young, so I am ready.
These last four years are years I never expected to have. They have been the best years of my life and there aren't any indications of it letting up. I am thankful for the gifts I have, the people who surrounded, the family who loves me, the country I live in, the brave men and women who fight and die that me and mine can live as we wish, for the opportunities I am daily given, even if I don't always take advantage of them. I am the luckiest man in the world and I defy you to prove otherwise.
This Thanksgiving, take the time to be thankful for all of your gifts and blessings. If, unlike me, you are religious, then pay special thanks to your deity for allowing you to live here and now.
Happy Thanksgiving and may your next year be a Catastrophic Success (with the emphasis on the Success).
posted by Mister Bixby | 11/24/2004 03:00:00 PM
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